A non-resident parent is a parent who does not live with the child, or who spends less time with the child than the other parent.

A resident parent is the parent the children live with most of the time. If the children split their time equally, this is called ‘shared residency’. 

Becoming a separated parent when you’ve been a full-time parent can take an emotional toll. Trying to adapt to limited visits can be heart-breaking, for you and for them. 

“When I’m separated from the kids, I try not to think about them. I feel very sad. I need to see them more and be a part of their life again.” – Dominic, separated dad. 

• If possible, try to stay in touch with your child in between contacts through video calls and text messages.  
• Lean on your support network such as your family and friends for practical and emotional support. 
• Find hobbies and interests that help you feel fulfilled in the time you’re not with your children. 
• Develop your support network – nurture friendships or seek others in similar situations through support groups. 
• Look after yourself and practice self-care to look after your wellbeing.  
• Consider finding someone neutral to talk to, such as a counsellor, to help you work through any issues you are going through. 

Family and friends may mean well, but they might not truly understand what you are going through. Talking to other non-resident parents is a valuable source of support that can make you feel less alone. This could be through in-person support groups, or online. 

“Online discussion boards and private social media groups helped, as I was able to relate to other parents’ experiences.” – Jacques, separated dad. 

If you haven’t seen your children in a while, resuming contact may feel challenging. 

• For the sake of your children, try to have a positive relationship with your ex-partner. Consider taking our free online parenting course on co-parenting to find effective ways to communicate and parent together. 
• Consider the reasons why you lost touch. Are there issues that you need to address about your feelings, priorities or lifestyle to help restore contact?  
• If you can, talk things through with the other parent first. Rebuilding the trust with the other parent can help you start to connect with your children.  
• Creating a co-parenting plan is a great way to work with the other parent to ensure both parties are working together to put the children first 
• If you live far from your children, suggest finding a halfway spot you can meet at for the handover. This will cut down on travel costs and time for both of you. 

If the relationship ended badly or your ex-partner is being difficult, it can be hard to be amicable. Avoid letting yourself get drawn into arguments as this will only make things worse. It is important to remain calm and try not to say anything negative to the other parent as this will inflame the situation.  

If it is difficult to communicate with the other parent, consider mediation. It can help to have an open discussion in a controlled and calm setting to help you both work things through.  

If both parents cannot agree and have exhausted mediation or legal advice, then you can apply to the Family Court for a Child Arrangement Order.  Read more about making child contact arrangements. 

If there have been attempts of parental alienating behaviours from the other parent, you may want to seek legal advice or speak to a professional.  

If you haven’t seen your children for a long time, there’s no way of knowing how they’ll react to the idea of seeing you again. They may feel resentful or they may jump at the chance. Children can feel torn between wanting to get to know you better and remaining loyal to the parent who has raised them.   

If you are resuming contact: 

• Consider meeting them along with family members or in a video call so they can get used to seeing you again. 
• Give your children a calendar, marked with the dates when you’ll be seeing each other. 
• Stay in touch between contacts with texts and video calls to remind them that you love them and are thinking of them. 
• Make sure you stick to the arrangements you made and make every effort not to cancel or change – this can make the children feel really let down and disappointed and can damage your chances of rebuilding the relationship. 

Both Parents Matter – Helpline, support groups and resources to advise separated parents and help children have a relationship with both parents. 

Separated Families – Information and resources for anyone affected by family separation. 

Family Mediators Association – A registered charity which offers family mediation to private clients outside the court system. 

Family Mediation Council – A not-for-profit organisation that maintains a professional register of family mediators. 

This article was reviewed by Jeremy Todd, Managing Director of Coram Family Lives. Last reviewed on 21 July 2026.